Vows, Interrupted (Protocol Pinned)
Groom skips the vows, the eye contact, and the ceremony to recite the pinned dosing protocol from his Notes app at the altar.
#protocol-brain
10 doses dispensed under this indication
Currently Dispensed
The Freezer Diagram Has Everything Except The Hot Pocket
You color-coded three reconstitution cycles and a taper schedule, but the freezer-burned Hot Pocket on the door shelf remains un-annotated and immortal.
Protocol PDF > Paternity
Dad can't hear the newborn over the sound of his 47-tab injection schedule buffering on the family iPad.
Reconstitution Trumps Paternity
The vial must swirl for exactly 30 seconds. The infant will simply have to wait its turn in the protocol queue.
Therapist Discovers The Protocol
A simple 'what do you want out of life' question unravels into a chronological recitation of subcutaneous injection timing.
Priorities: Color-Coded
The spreadsheet must be updated before the child can be comforted. This is the protocol.
Pulse Window Is Non-Negotiable
House is burning, marriage is crumbling, but the 7:14 PM injection window is sacred and the timer is green.
Laminated Priorities
He didn't write vows. He wrote a protocol. In 10pt Arial. With a citation list.
Ain't Nobody Got Time For That Pulse
When the protocol spreadsheet outranks the vows and the fasted window is non-negotiable.
The Window Is The Window
Newborn screams. Wife pleads. He cannot deviate from the fasted nocturnal pulse protocol a Discord mod posted at 11pm.