TSA: Whatcha Got There?
A color-coded foam insert and a crumpled doctor's note are not, legally, a smoothie.
#travel
14 doses dispensed under this indication
Currently Dispensed
TSA Declaration: Skincare
Hide-the-pain Harold rehearses the word 'skincare' while a Yeti cooler of amber vials rides the x-ray belt at 5 a.m.
It's Just Insulin, Officer
The confidence of a man whose cooler bag contains a full reconstitution kit and the audacity to call it insulin.
Carry-On Compliance Failure
Trying to pass a full reconstitution kit as a CVS haul while your forehead betrays you at the body scanner.
Carry-On Compliance Event
The TSA agent unzips the toiletry pouch expecting contact solution and finds a laminated stack protocol instead.
Nothing To Declare Except The Centrifuge
Sweating profusely in the TSA line after remembering your carry-on is 80% unlabeled vials and one very suspicious mini centrifuge.
Just My Insulin, Officer
The universal cover story for a carry-on cooler containing six vials that are definitely not insulin.
TSA vs. The Vial Fridge
Forty vials, six ice packs, one pair of socks — the X-ray machine sees the stack and files for early retirement.
Officer, Those Are Cat Vitamins
TSA pulls a frosted vial from your insulated lunch bag and you deliver the line you've rehearsed in the mirror for six weeks.
Bin 3, Please — Carry-On Cooler Edition
You labeled it 'snacks.' The handwritten logbook said otherwise.
Travel Skincare (Schedule III)
The cooler is just serums. The vial rolling under the seat is just a serum. The ice pack is just for the serums. Please don't ask.
Beware Of Gym-Bros Bearing Vials
The protocol does not pause for vacation; the cooler bag does not declare itself.
Basically Just Collagen, Officer
When TSA finds your travel cooler of unlabeled vials and you deploy the 'beauty routine' defense with full eye contact.
VACATIONIN-7: Federally Mandated PTO
Your phone buzzes. It's not an Amber Alert. It's the FDA telling you your 9-day cycle starts at the TSA checkpoint.